I seem to be going through some sort of transformation stage.  A reinventing of myself so to speak.  In the past 2 weeks I have had a lot of "lightbulb" moments and they all seem to be pointing in different directions.  So what do I do with all of this new information?  I don't know. 

It's this wierd feeling of not really fitting in anywhere and not really wanting to work at making it flow better.  I'm slamming into walls everywhere.  I suppose that is what life is about, but I don't know what I want or where I want to be and it is causing a bit of inner turmoil.  And it's not the big things.

It sounds lame, but having 2 cats die in the space of a month has brought home the fact that I will not live forever and if there is anything that I need to do in my life I need to get on with it. 

It's like breaking in new shoes.  The blisters are brutal, but after a while the shoes start to losen up enough and the blisters form calluses.  They then become favorite shoes. 

Maybe I just need to let go of the control freak in me and just let it flow or take short-cuts, but that seems to make the messes bigger and more complicated.  By holding on to what I can control, I feel more secure.  So the less secure I feel, the more I feel the need to control everything.  And it is making me tired.

Or maybe, I just caught the cold going around at work.